1/14/25 - Creating Your Dream Year in 2025 Without Setting Goals
Hook
What do you think of when I talk about goals and resolutions? Do you love them? Hate them? Feel like they’re a necessary evil? Let’s talk about it and an alternative to the traditional way to set and achieve goals.
Introduction
Hello my lovelies! Welcome to the Moving Toward Better Podcast. I’m your host, Karen Bemmes, and today we’re talking about how to create your dream year without setting goals and resolutions. It’s a big topic, but I’ll try to keep it short and sweet and see where that takes us.
Before we dive in, I want to make it clear that what I am about to share are experiences from my own life and what I learned along the way. Your situation may be different, and this is no substitute for financial, medical or mental health intervention if your situation warrants it. This podcast is designed to help people understand themselves and others better based on their personalities. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any mental or physical condition. If you suspect you or a family member is at risk of physical or mental harm, please seek proper medical help immediately.
For those who are new to the podcast, when I talk about personalities, communication and relationships, I use the DISC personality model of behavior and refer to people as D or Driven, I or Inspired, S or Supportive, and C or Cautious. You can find links to take your own Personality Assessment in the Show Notes.
You know how people always talk about new year, new you? I detest that because while I love the new energy of a new year, the pressure to become a totally new person, lose weight, get your finances in order, get your home sparkling and perfect while raising perfect children and making hundreds of thousands of dollars monthly is a recipe for failure.
So many gurus lead you to believe with their 4, 5 or 10 step program, you can have everything you dream of in no time at all. Now, don’t get me wrong. I want you to have everything you dream of, but for many of us, the traditional ways of setting and achieving goals were created by people that don’t understand that not everyone thinks or lives the same way they do.
These are generally very task oriented people who think logically and can shut out the noise of everyday life to focus on their goals, sometimes to the exclusion of everyone around them.
We all know of the stories of the lone athlete who trains for hours per day with a singular focus of winning or achieving something, whether it’s the Olympics, the World Cup, the Super Bowl, a marathon or something else. That type of regimentation works for a select few, and it’s absolutely amazing to see what these people accomplish, but not everyone has the luxury or the time for singular focus, and that’s what we’re here to talk about today, the rest of us, who want a great life without the singular focus on any one thing and a way to succeed at many things without burning out and/or tearing themselves apart.
Those same athletes, like Michael Phelps, don’t know what to do with themselves once they reach the pinnacle of their sport, and one of my favorite speeches about the idea of doing and having it all is by Shonda Rhimes, the writer and producer of such hits as Scandal and Grey’s Anatomy is that even people who seem to have it all, don’t. I’ve linked her speech in the show notes and description of this podcast.
The thing that set me on this path of unGoals was partly inspired by a story I read about a well known TV personality about the amazing life she led. We’ll call her Gertrude. Gertrude was on two popular show on TV, yes, two at the same time. She was married, had two small children and was seen as a fitness expert as well as aTV personality. She regularly worked 14 hour days, worked out for at least an hour per day and boasted about doing her own grocery shopping every day because she wanted to pick out her own produce.
That got me to thinking. If you regularly work 14 hours per day, commute 30 minutes each way, which is a very conservative estimate for Los Angeles, work out an hour per day and do your own grocery shopping, that is a minimum of 16-18 hours per day. If you only sleep four hours per day, you’re at 20-22 hours per day, and that doesn’t count eating, showering, dressing, and it leaves you somewhere between two and four hours for everything else in your life. This made me angry because many women look at someone like this, and they begin to feel woefully inadequate, especially younger moms, and that breaks my heart because if Gertrude is happy to spend a couple hours per day with her family, that’s fine, but most women I know are doing this alone or with a life partner and don’t have a staff to pick up the slack of everything else. It’s not apples to apples, so we’re going to focus on something different.
That’s why we’re diving into how to create an incredible 2025 without setting traditional goals. Yep, no rigid checklists or strict deadlines here—just an approach that aligns with who you truly are, so you can make this year your best one yet!
Part 1 is about Embracing Your Unique and Amazing Personality
Here’s the thing—we’re all wired differently, and that’s a beautiful thing. By understanding and celebrating your unique personality, you can craft a year that feels authentic and fulfilling. That’s where these four personality types come into play: Driven, Inspired, Supportive, and Cautious. Each one has its own set of strengths and motivations, and knowing which one you resonate with can make all the difference.
Since we’re starting a new year, and we have some new listeners, I’m going to give you a quick rundown of each personality type.
* The Driven types are action-oriented and love tackling challenges head-on.
* Inspired types thrive on creativity, fun, and making meaningful connections.
* Supportive types are dependable, patient, and prioritize harmony and care.
* Cautious types are detail-focused, analytical, and value precision and planning.
Think about which of these feels most like you. You may identify strongly with one or maybe you’re a blend of two or three. I happen to be a blend of the Inspired, Supportive and Driven types, in that order, which means that I’m a lot for some people to handle, and knowing this about myself and others has helped me more than I can tell you in the realm of goal setting and beyond.
The only goal here (see what I did there?) is to play to your strengths and live life on the terms that make the most sense to you, not try to be someone you’re not and try to fit into someone else’s box.
Part 2 is about Harnessing Your Personality Strengths, so they can help you to have an amazing 2025:
* Driven types, you’re all about results and impact and speed, but you can lose sight of the ones you love in pursuit of your lofty and audacious goals. Instead of setting rigid goals that separate you from your loved ones, aka the ones you think you’re doing all this for but would prefer to have more of you and less of your accomplishments, think about the legacy you want to create this year. What excites you to do with your family and/or spouse? Where can you channel that energy to make a difference in everyone’s life and not just yours? And you know how to find that out? ASK them! Don’t assume you know what’s best for everyone, especially if you have family members with very different personalities than you. You are amazing at checking things off the list, but make sure that your important people are not just part of the equation, but also contributors to the equation as well. We have so many ways to help you do that, so stay tuned for more.
* Inspired types, your superpower is your ability to connect and uplift. You love fostering meaningful relationships or creating something that inspires both you and others but you benefit from having some task oriented people on whatever team you create so something actually gets accomplished. Making a new bff is great, but when you get to the end of the days, weeks and months of this year, you know you’ll feel better if you attend to your tasks too. You also know you’ll do those tasks better if you work with others. You may be the only people on earth that actually liked group projects, especially if everyone did their part. You love working with people and collaborations and cheering people on. It’s honestly what you live for, so lean into the team aspect of whatever you do. Find groups or friends to encourage you, and this year, we’re going to be sharing so many ways to do that, so stick with us, and you’ll be so happy.
* Supportive types, your gift and superpower is literally in your name. You are so good at supporting those you care about and even sometimes those you really don’t because you always think that people are redeemable, meaning you are the harbingers of hope, which is no small thing. The only problem with that is you often help others to your own detriment, and that’s one I see all the time. Supportive types benefit from boundaries but struggle to make and keep them, but when they build routines that bring them joy, they create a sense of balance and that seriously helps them create and hold boundaries to maintain the peace they crave. If you need a buddy or a system to make that happen, I have so many things to help you.
* Cautious types, you excel at thoughtful planning and can spend much more time planning what you’re going to do than it ever takes to actually do what you’re planning. Sometimes that’s a wonderful thing. Sometimes that’s a way to keep from actually doing what you’re planning because you think you can always improve the planning, so everything will be perfect. Having someone who can gently help you move you toward even imperfect action is a great help for you, and I can show you what kind of person you need to help you without wanting to strangle them because you know you need the push, but doesn’t push so hard you shut down. You definitely want time for reflection and strategy—not to overanalyze but to create a roadmap that gives you confidence and clarity to move forward at a pace that works for you.
So, what’s the advantage of moving away from traditional goal setting and achievement? Because if they’re too rigid, it leaves the Driven and Inspired personalities feeling restrained or overwhelmed. It can leave the Supportive and Cautious types feeling pressured and pushed to keep a pace they detest. Instead, we’re going to focus on intentions and themes that give us direction without the pressure of a structured, rigid and restrictive way of setting and achieving goals. Now, you Cautious types that like structure, stay with me. There's a way to be structured without being overly pressured, so you get the structure you need without the pressure you don’t.
For example, if you’re a Driven type, your theme can be “Impact and Innovation.” If you’re Inspired, maybe it’s “Connection and Creativity.” Supportive types might choose “Harmony and Growth,” while Cautious types could embrace “Clarity and Progress.”
Your themes act like a compass, guiding your decisions and actions while leaving room for choices, flexibility, creativity, pacing that works for you and surprises along the way.
Alright, let’s talk about how to put all of this into motion! Taking action doesn’t have to be overwhelming—in fact, it should feel exciting, fun, contented and right for you.
Start by reflecting on your personality strengths and setting your intention or theme, whether it’s for the day, the week, the month or the year. Please understand that your personality will determine not only the intention or theme but also the length because some types crave variety while some crave predictability. Then, break it down into steps that work for you. For example, a Driven type will often make short lists so they can check things off quickly and keep moving, an Inspired type might plan a monthly creative gathering for fun accountability, a Supportive type may host an online weekly check in, while a Cautious type might schedule time to research a passion project as a reward for finishing a particularly challenging work item.
You’ll notice that some personalities prefer to check in regularly with others, while some prefer to work on their own. That is a hallmark of the task versus people orientation, but both working alone and checking in with others is the best way to truly make use of your own strengths and the strengths of others I know the check-ins with others will make the Driven and Cautious types uncomfortable, but getting another’s perspective can be incredibly valuable. Just be sure that you pick someone you know has your best interest at heart, and if you don’t have someone like that in your circle, expand your circle with a mastermind or coach if we’re talking about your business or a mentor if we're talking personally. For the Inspired and Supportive types, you love connecting with others, although in different ways, but working alone can be a challenge for you, so practicing is helpful in doses that work for you. That way you get support, accountability, and inspiration from like-minded individuals. And for anyone wondering, I can help with all of that, whether one on one or connecting you with others who can help you.
Part 3, my favorite part, is reframing one of my least favorite phrases
We’ve all heard some version of the phrase that success lies outside the comfort zone, and I detest that. For so many people, that is the most demotivating focus there is. It’s called a comfort zone for a reason. We feel comfortable there, and most of us are hesitant to leave somewhere we feel comfortable and safe.
Yes, there is a faction of people that love the thrill of stepping out of their comfort zone, but they are rare, and I don’t think that success is reserved for only those people. What I prefer, and I have to tell you that this idea changed the way I think about success, is the idea that rather than stepping outside your comfort zone, you, instead, expand your zone of comfort so that whatever you aspire to do fits comfortably inside. Isn’t that lovely?
For example, through a group that I’m part of, I learned about high yield savings accounts, but because we had never used one, I was hesitant to move our savings into one. Luckily, we found one that we could open with American Express, and since we already have their credit card, I felt safe with moving our money there, so we opened the account and moved our emergency fund there from a typical savings account at a bank. The result? When we got our first statement, the amount of interest on that account in that month was more than the interest we had made on the account the entire year before, which was a very good thing for my husband to see because it completely expanded his zone of comfort, and we’ve never regretted that.
So, as we step into 2025, remember this: you have everything you need to create a year that feels truly amazing whether you struggle with tasks or with people. By embracing your unique personality and your innate strengths, you can flow with intentions and even goals if that’s what you really want and need. You can take inspired action and set yourself up for success—on your terms in your time frame without having to spend all of your time out of your comfort zone because some of you love your comfort zones.
Driven and Inspired types will move quickly. Supportive and Cautious types will move more methodically. Driven and Cautious types will want and need to embrace tasks. Inspired and Supportive types will want and need to include others in their plans, and as each one does that, they will shine.
That may also mean that Driven and Cautious types are going to have to communicate to others so they can delegate and meet team goals, because you’ll get there faster if you involve others, even if it’s minimal. It may also mean that Inspired and Supportive types will need a framework of tasks, so that you know when you’re making progress, because even though teamwork makes the dream work, you have to know what to do to make that happen.
Climax/Key Moment, Conclusion/Summary, Call to Action
So, are you ready to have an amazing 2025? I can’t wait to hear about the incredible things you are going to do and create, and if you want help with that, I’m hosting a coworking/accountability soon. If you want more information on that, go to the Moving Toward Better website and sign up for our email community to learn more or message me on Facebook and we’ll chat.
Final thought
If you got any insights from this for yourself or someone you know, remember to like and subscribe, and if you know someone else who could benefit from this, please share it. If you want extra help for yourself, again go to the Moving Toward Better website to sign up for our email community and to schedule a free DISCovery call.
Until next time, keep moving toward better, whatever that means for you. Love you all!
