10/24/24 - Holiday Stress Reduction Hacks You NEED to Try This Year
Hook
Do you feel added stress during the holiday season? I know I do, and it takes a conscious effort for most of us to keep our cool as we go through this sometimes incredibly stressful time, so let’s talk about it.
Subject intro
Hello my lovelies! Welcome to the Moving Toward Better Podcast. I’m your host, Karen Bemmes, and today we’re talking about some amazing strategies to get through the holidays so that you can enjoy the holiday season rather than endure it, and truth be told, it’s great advice for anytime you’re going through a stressful time in your life.
Before we dive in, I want to make it clear that what I am about to share are experiences from my own life and what I learned along the way. Your situation may be different, and this is no substitute for financial, medical or mental health intervention if your situation warrants it. This podcast series is designed to help people understand themselves and others better based on their personalities. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any mental or physical condition. If you suspect you or a family member is at risk of physical or mental harm, please seek proper medical help immediately.
For those who are new to the podcast, when I talk about personalities, communication and relationships, I use the DISC personality model of behavior and refer to people as D or Driven, I or Inspired, S or Supportive, and C or Cautious. You can find links to take your own Personality Assessment in the Show Notes.
Presentation of Problem/Challenge
Hook
According to the American Psychological Association, 9 out of 10 adults say that something causes them stress over the holidays, and I don’t doubt that for a minute. Some stress about finances. Some stress about relationships. Others stress about the state of their homes or their weight even more so than the rest of the year, and the list goes on and on, but there are things you can do, apart from yoga and meditation, that can reduce your holiday stress and make the holiday season much more fun and relaxing.
Introduction
So many of us get caught up in trying to be everything and do everything during the holidays, that we end up exhausted before we even get started, especially if we’ve fallen short in previous years. My lovely, it’s time to stop that right now and set yourself up for better success this holiday season than you’ve ever had.
Presentation of Problem/Challenge
This year we’re going to go into the season with a different attitude. If we have financial pressures, family relationship issues, an overload of activities and more, we’re going to address them before this season starts, so that we don’t find ourselves in the middle of a meltdown, feeling like it’s the same stuff every year, and it would be better if we just skip the holidays altogether.
Exploration/Development
In some ways, I know that what we’re going to discuss today is nothing new. Others have talked about some or maybe even most of these tips I’m going to share, but the secret sauce is how we’re going to talk about it. I’ve always said that I understand things on three levels. The first understanding is cerebral, like we all know we “should” (I hate that word) take care of ourselves through the holidays, but with everything going on, how do we do that?
Second, I say that I get things with my heart. Staying with self-care (a term I don’t like), I get that the better I care for myself, the better I can show up for others, so taking care of myself is a gift to me and them. Again, we know this, but how do we accomplish it?
Finally, the concept seems to settle into my full body, my spirit or my full understanding if that makes sense. I see how caring for myself is good for me, for those I love and for the greater good, and that changes everything. If you don’t get that, stay with me, and I’ll try to explain by showing you how we make it happen
Let’s start with Hack number one, which is to set realistic expectations. This is where most people will tell you, don't try to do too much or be too perfect, but we all know that, don’t we? It’s infuriating to be told things you already know, so how about this?
It isn’t about you being perfect or not perfect. It’s understanding that no holiday is perfect, and if you remember them being perfect when you were a child, it’s probably because some adult, just like you was stressing about making it perfect for you, but what a way to set people up for disappointment! Look, sometimes the “mistakes’ become the best stories in our family repertoire of stories. Let me give you an example.
When our children were small, they often each got a DVD for Christmas, and we would have a family movie marathon. One year, when my children were about 10, 7 and 4, Santa brought each of them a movie. I honestly don’t remember two of them, but I will never forget the third. Why? Well, my children love Star Wars, and they love sarcasm, so Santa brought them Space Balls for a gift thinking it would be a funny movie for them all to watch together. After all, it was rated PG.
Ummmm, what? For any of you that know the rating system, movies made in this day and age that are rated PG are usually family friendly with some mild language or innuendo. In 1987, when Space Balls was released, there was no PG13 rating, and Space Balls didn’t fit the criteria for an R rating, so PG it was.
Y’all, we laugh about that faux pas to this day because there is so much language and innuendo in this movie we had to distract our children from it and hide it for a few years.
One year in my husband’s family, one of the guests burnt the dinner rolls, and whenever something burns no matter what time of year it is, they blame her in the most loving way, decades later. She’s still an honorary member of the family and laughs along with the rest of the family because she knows it’s all in fun.
What I’m saying is that living in the moment is often the best plan of action, and laughing at the mistakes sooner rather than later makes for a happier season for all.
Next we have Hack number two, which is to Set Your Priorities and that is different than having realistic expectations but they do work together. When you decide that your priorities are to stay on budget, keep your plan simple and give meaningful gifts, you’ve set a priority that helps you set realistic expectations. To help you do that, my friend Jeannine Rose of Sweet Humble home and I have published a Happiest Holidays Planner, which is a guide for a peaceful, happy and budget friendly holiday. The link to purchase that on Amazon is in the show notes.
Hack number three is to make a budget and stick to it. That starts with a gift list which is included in the Happiest Holidays Planner, and whether you use a Christmas Fund, credit card points or some other method of paying for the holidays, when you set your budget ahead of time and save for the holidays rather than paying for them for months afterward, you lower your stress and ramp up the fun factor in every way possible.
Hack number four is to get organized, and if you’re anything like me, this is the one that might touch a nerve because I always wanted to be organized, but I spent years and years staying up until 2am wrapping gifts only to have them shredded a few hours later as I watched through bleary, underslept eyes. That’s why Jeannnine and I wrote the Happiest Holidays Planner, because being organized is a gift you give to yourself and everyone in your life during the holidays. Please understand that I say that as the parent of an adhd now adult and as a person with adhd myself. This planner is a gift to me to help keep me on track without feeling overwhelmed and get through the holiday season feeling so good about what I can accomplish and still take care of myself in the process. Plus, if you get the planner, you can join us in the Happiest Holidays Facebook group where we’ll work on our own journeys and help each other where we can.
Hack number five is going to surprise some of you, but it’s to create a wrapping station, and the earlier you can do that, the better. It can be as simple as a card table set up in your bedroom or something more elaborate in another part of your home. In our house, I set up the wrapping station either at the end of October or the beginning of November so I’m not stuck in the middle of December or later having to wrap all of the gifts. That also gives me the opportunity to check my supplies early and make sure I have everything I need when it comes time to wrap.
I pic a few items to wrap each week, and we also celebrate St. Nick night, so I work on the stockings too to prevent last minute scrambles, and just in case some of you are wondering, yes, there was a time that all of these things were part of my mental load because my husband worked two jobs while I stayed home and took care of the house and the kiddos. These days, since I work from home and my husband is down to one job, we share in the holiday gift process, and it’s definitely more fun with two, at least for me.
And because I had years when I didn’t even have the energy to wrap gifts, I am also a huge proponent of gift bags, which I happen to reuse if I can and so does most of my extended family. I do invest in fresh tissue paper each year, but I even have a couple of relatives that fold and reuse that paper, so it gets more than one use for those who are concerned about sustainability.
In the Happiest Holidays Planner, we also talk about a Christmas Morning Survival kit that you won’t want to miss.
Hack number six is that Action Defeats Overwhelm. For some of you, I’m sure you said, “duh!” because it is kind of a duh moment, but when you’re in the midst of overwhelm, I want you to hear my voice in your head that says, I don’t care if you set a timer for 2, 5, 10 or 15 minutes, but I want you to set a timer when you feel overwhelmed and get to it, whatever it is.
Before that, though, take a two minute mental health break and do something that brings you peace or joy. Set a time and breathe with your eyes closed making each breath a bit longer than the one before. Grab a glass of water if you haven’t had enough hydration and sip for two minutes. Have a piece of chocolate if that gives you joy, but for two minutes, focus on your joy, and when those two minutes are up, re-set the timer for 15 minutes and do something productive.
Look, I’m all about positive procrastination if you can use it to your advantage. There are days when I have a project to do, and no matter what, I can’t seem to engage. Those are the days that I’ll go clean or declutter for 15 minutes to avoid doing the project. Usually after I do that for a round or two, I can either play roulette where I work on the project for 15 minutes and rotate with a house blessing, or I will find the focus I need to get enough work done on the project that I feel good about my efforts for the day.
In this case, we’re merely doing the same thing but with a holiday flavor.
Finally, we come to hack number seven which is to take care of the caretaker. Listen, I know that most of you are rolling your eyes at me, and I get it, but this isn’t about getting adequate rest, drinking water and exercising, because we all know that those things are valuable, and if you do well with those things through the holidays, yay for you. I mean that with all of my heart.
What I’m talking about is taking care of the inner you, and it doesn’t have to be some big thing. For me, that always means starting with gratitude. After the hurricane damage in Tennessee and North Carolina, I can simply be grateful for having a home. This past week, something happened to our electric which knocked out our kitchen, dining room and basement lights, but the rest of the house was fine. There was a time in my life when I would have whined and complained about that until it was fixed. Now, I am reminded that some people haven’t had power or water or maybe even a home for several weeks, so what happened to me was merely an inconvenience, and I am grateful for that.
Also, be kind to yourself. When you look in the mirror, pretend you’re looking at someone very dear to you, and think about the way you would talk to them, and then, talk to yourself that way too. I’m being serious when I say that so many people are so hard on themselves, and it hasn’t fixed them. Maybe it’s time to start being kind and see where that leads. For me, it’s led to a much happier person looking back at me, and that’s pretty cool too.
Also, I know this might be difficult to hear and even more difficult to do but delegate tasks and ask for help when you need it. Don't try to do everything on your own. Whether it's asking a family member to help with cooking or enlisting the help of a friend for a project, don't be afraid to ask for help. One of my favorite stories about that is seeing a rant from a friend of mine about how much she detests wrapping gifts, and another friend of hers, who lives very close to her, said she loves wrapping gifts and would be happy to wrap gifts for her the following year. I don’t know if my friend took her up on the offer, but I hope she did so both of them could be happier.
Conclusion/Summary
So, how does that list feel? Doable or out of reach? Let me recap all 7 hacks very quickly.
1. Change your expectations so you can expect less and enjoy more.
2. Set your priorities so you can get through the holidays peacefully.
3. Make a budget and follow it so the credit cards don’t blow you away in January.
4. Get organized using the Happiest Holidays Planner by using the link in the show notes and description.
5. Create a wrapping station so you can stay on top of your wrapping and reduce your stress later.
6. Remember that Action Defeats Overwhelm and whether you set the timer for 2, 5, 10 or 15 minutes, you’re building momentum and making progress.
7. Take care of the caretaker, not just with rest, exercise or hydration but with gratitude, kindness to yourself and maybe some meditation too.
Call to Action (CTA)
So, if you want to remember these ideas through the holidays, you can download 7 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by going to the link in the show notes and description. Also, get your Holiday Planner with the link in the show notes as well, and let’s make this the absolute best holiday season for you and the ones you love most.
The planner is designed to help you get through the holidays with less stress, less debt, more fun and more money than ever before. The link to purchase your copy is in the show notes of the podcast and the description of the video. By purchasing the planner, you also have access to the Happiest Holidays Facebook group where we’ll have live videos to talk about everything we cover in the planner and make this your best possible holiday season.
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and keep moving toward better every day, whatever that means for you. Love you all!
